Becoming is Harder Than it Seems: By Cindi Pate
I’m remembering back to my 9-year-old-self —
I always knew there was more for me than the hopelessness I felt most days. And yet, still feeling hopeful.
“If there are millions
Down on their knees
Among the many
Can you still hear me
Hear me asking
Where do I belong?
Is there a vision
That I can call my own?”
Trauma creates a new version of you — sometimes you both walk lost separately and other times you each are walking complete together - a constant tug of war of wandering and seeking.
A part of me wanting to run away from something - and another part of me wanting desperately to run to something. And thankfully - most often I would run to Jesus. [well, except for those times I ran to anything else to escape my past] In all of the hurt, God was the only one who showed me who I could be and helped me to continually become.
“A life of pages
Waiting to be filled
A heart that's hopeful
A head that's full of dreams
But this becoming
Is harder than it seems”
Trauma changes things — and it took me nearly 40 years of wandering in desert places to realize that the same Jesus who kept showing me who I should be was waiting for me to let Him show me how much more he still had for me.
I didn’t have to settle for the girl trauma turned me into — I was and would be the lioness he created me to be!