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Becoming is Harder Than it Seems: By Cindi Pate

I’m remembering back to my 9-year-old-self —

I always knew there was more for me than the hopelessness I felt most days. And yet, still feeling hopeful.

“If there are millions

Down on their knees

Among the many

Can you still hear me

Hear me asking

Where do I belong?

Is there a vision

That I can call my own?”

Trauma creates a new version of you — sometimes you both walk lost separately and other times you each are walking complete together - a constant tug of war of wandering and seeking.

A part of me wanting to run away from something - and another part of me wanting desperately to run to something. And thankfully - most often I would run to Jesus. [well, except for those times I ran to anything else to escape my past] In all of the hurt, God was the only one who showed me who I could be and helped me to continually become.

“A life of pages

Waiting to be filled

A heart that's hopeful

A head that's full of dreams

But this becoming

Is harder than it seems”

Trauma changes things — and it took me nearly 40 years of wandering in desert places to realize that the same Jesus who kept showing me who I should be was waiting for me to let Him show me how much more he still had for me.

I didn’t have to settle for the girl trauma turned me into — I was and would be the lioness he created me to be!


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