Just being candid, it is one of my worst faults. It surpasses my gluttony desire for white chocolate Oreos, pizza, or anything deep-fried. It’s what I call the “NOW Syndrome”. “Lord I have got to lose this weight NOW, you have got to heal this relationship NOW, I need this job NOW, bless our finances NOW….
I confess that I had this syndrome way before adulthood. As a freckled faced, snaggle tooth preschooler, I was known to throw a couple of tantrums to get my way in the grocery store. I wanted that toy at the check-out line and I would do anything to get it! I have fallen to the floor, kicked, screamed, held my breath, turned blue and I have even been known to throw in a little “fake” foaming at the mouth just to get what I want.
Years followed and I became old enough to date. I honestly can remember praying, “Lord, please let me date “him” now, and then there was “him”, and “him”… Hurry Lord, you don’t want me to be single all my life, do you?”
Just the other day, I saw one of the “hims” I had desperately begged, prayed and asked God to allow me to date when I was a teen. He was sitting in a restaurant using vulgar language, and I know I am speaking in the flesh here, but can I just say Whew glory! Thank you Lord for not answering that prayer when I wanted it!
For so long I found myself trying to rush God’s will for my life. Many times what I want ”now” is not what I should have, or maybe God is saying “not quite yet, I am still working and refining some things so that when I give it to you, it will blow your mind!” You see, God’s “no” is not always rejection, but redirection.
I have learned humbly to let go, and let God take control. I will admit it has not always been easy. There have been nights that I have cried out to God and felt like those prayers were ricocheting back from the bedroom ceiling. I will tell you, that never once has my God failed me.
Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.