Rethinking Muffins With Moms and Donuts With Dads

By Valorie Wallace

Events like Donuts with Dads and Muffins with Moms are often planned with good intentions.They are meant to encourage family involvement and create special memories for children. However, these events can sometimes cause sadness or discomfort for children who do not have a mother or father present in their lives. Some children live with grandparents, foster parents, guardians, same-sex parents, or other caring adults. Others may have experienced loss or separation. When events are labeled around one specific parent, children may feel left out or different.

Young children may not always have the words to explain these feelings, but they feel them deeply. Feeling excluded during a school event can affect a child’s sense of belonging and emotional well-being. Schools and early childhood programs work hard to create safe,

welcoming spaces, and small changes in language can make a big difference. Inclusive alternatives such as Breakfast with Buddies, Donuts with Grown-Ups, or Family Breakfast Day,KISS: Kids Invite Someone Special allow every child to participate without feeling singled out. These types of events welcome any caring adult in a child’s life and celebrate the many ways families are formed.

By choosing inclusive event names, schools send a clear message that all families are valued and respected. The goal is not to remove family involvement, but to expand it. When children see their families honored—no matter what they look like—they feel supported, confident, and connected. Inclusive traditions help ensure every child starts the day feeling happy, included, and ready to learn