“You make me sick, you will never amount to anything, you are such a loser!” My lips quivered and tears swelled as I read the spiteful condemning text from a friend who I thought supported my marriage. My emotions roiled as fear, anger, and bitterness consumed me. Those words rang in my mind, choking out potential of my marriage being restored. I felt abandoned and alone.
Those biting words came years ago when my husband and I were struggling in our marriage. Some of the accusations were partly true. Involved emotionally with a male friend and under strong conviction, I was under attack in every area of my life. In the months after reconciliation with my husband, I would reread those words, rehashing them. I allowed that message to crush my already low self-esteem. I held onto those hurts and was miserable.
You may have received harsh words from a friend, family, co-worker, or your spouse. There have been times when my husband and I were tired, frustrated, overcommitted, we didn’t think before we spoke and lashed out at each other. If you dwell on those words, allow resentment to grow, the problem is not resolved, and it will grow to deeper hurts.
Not only is unforgiveness a sin, it will gradually destroy you. Science links unforgiveness with stress, anxiety, depression, headaches, back aches, stomach distress, diabetes, hypertension and even more. I have learned forgiveness is not easy, yet is not optional; God commands it in Matthew 6:14 as a prerequisite for our own sins being forgiven.
Forgiveness can’t be based on a feeling. You must choose to forgive. There have been times I did not “feel” like forgiving, the pain was so haunting. Often times my pain did not subside until I made that choice. You may be thinking but I was wronged, I was hurt, how will I ever forget what they did to me? Truth is, you may never fully forget.
Granting forgiveness is not letting this person off the hook; instead it is saying I choose to obey God. I can’t handle this anymore by myself, I can’t solve this, Father GOD, I am placing this situation in Your hand and I am trusting You to take care of it. When you forgive, you are letting go. You no longer allow this incident to control your thoughts or change you. You give up your right to hurt that person back. Release this hurt and vengeance to God.
......forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you. -Ephesians 4:32
Until every home is a Godly home….
Publisher Note: Beverly Weeks is an energetic, Jesus loving- “girl-next-door”. Her inspiring, transparent messages are seasoned with a little laughter, candid real life struggles, and filled with Biblical truths. Often times people who hear her speak say the same thing, “she’s just so real.” An evangelist at heart, she has a love for her audience that is fully evident both on and off stage.
Beverly is trained in Biblical Counseling, an ordained minister with the Acts2 Network, & Executive Director of Wayne Pregnancy Care Center. She’s been married for over 20 years to her best friend Rick, who had no idea what he was getting into when he asked her to marry him, bless his heart! They reside in Goldsboro, N.C. along with their two children Tyler & Macy.
Hey Wait a second, who wrote this? I’m just a simple southern girl, TEE-TOTALLY in love with my Jesus! I love chocolate, peanut butter with bananas, Alfredo sauce, shopping, and consignment shops. Did I say I LOVE chocolate!
To learn more about Beverly, visit: www.intentionallyyours.org